Kau bacakan aku apa ya...

A bad migraine yesterday triggered a need for painkiller. I tried to resist it but after woken up three times in a course of a 6 hours sleep, not feeling well at all but more and more throbbing at the back of my head, I decided that this time I need a Ponstan.

The thing about that damn thing is, as you awake the next day, you realised that you kind of did weird stuff. Like, as I got up from bed this morning, I realised there's a Quran next to my bed, Faisal Tehrani's "Kekasih Sam Po Bo" that I never finished reading, a credit card inside the book, the laptop's going on hibernate and there's facebook showing my status with a Jalaludin Rumi poem on it.

No, I did not forget what I did yesterday, it's just that the essence of it is not really there. It's like a dream, where you feel so real but then when you wake up, everything doesn't make sense.

Do you remember last year, that time when I really dealt with that "thing" quite calmly?
Remember how I kinda got lots of migraines around those time and I link it with my work in CO as the culprit?
And how many times I went to see Dr Abdul Malek and get more painkillers?
And yet when people asked me how I was, I said "I'm fine" and except for the addiction to Rafeah Buang's songs, I don't think I have shown any symptom of depression?

Can you actually temporarily kill a heart pain with a painkiller?

Wah, susahnya soalan aku pada hari ini... hahahahahaha...

Anyways...

Don't you love the weather nowadays? It's so cold and comforting. I always sleep early now with all that rain and wind. It's romantic. It reminds me of those days in UIA when it's raining and I will be sitting at the window, writing poems, imagining myself to be Jane Austen. That's why I think my hand just slipped down to the bookshelf and pulled Tehrani's book out. And as I opened the book to where the credit card is tucked in, it has this one beautiful poetry in it.

kau bacakan aku apa ya
malam hari aku berdoa untukmu
dalam mimpi aku bermain guli denganmu
dalam pagiku ada kasih kalbumu
dalam senja senyummu ranum
masih
harum
teh dalam cangkir kecil itu
aku tertanya
apa sudah kau bacakan dalam
renung matamu

Isn't it beautiful? I mean, I have been busy with my work and I didn't stop for a while to read a book. I haven't read a book for six months now, not even a Sophie Kinsella's let alone Azizi Abdullah or A. Samad Said.

After all this busy-bees, ambitions and bad karmas, I am going to do just that.

A poetry book.
A cup of hot chocolate.
And one windy rainy day.

Embrace the art and romanticism.